I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
