U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
