How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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