you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
