i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
