I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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