ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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