I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
