Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
