Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
