under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
whose ass print is on the piano?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
There's even glitter on my cock...
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