I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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