im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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