I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
