I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Randomize
