There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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