is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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