I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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