she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
where are you?
Hypothermia
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
