whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize
