it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
