So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
