Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
