and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
