It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
