I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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