I've blown a few things in my day
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
