i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Nicole vs. Life
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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