i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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