I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
