Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
