Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
