dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
