They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
