I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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