how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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