And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
