She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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