sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
