i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
