i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
