I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize