brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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