Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
