i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
