so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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