Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
