At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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