the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
