btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
