That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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