if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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