Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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