is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's official drugs can't kill me
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You need a sexual gate keeper
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
