If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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