Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
