Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
